BDSM Contract Guide: All You Need To Know

Whether you are a novice at BDSM scene or enjoy a regular power-play relationship, a written personal contract might be what you need to engage in safe BDSM activities. It is an effective way to your express sexual desires and enjoy a healthy relationship dynamic.

As with any relationship, communication and mutual respect are key. Writing up, signing and adhering to a reallife BDSM contract could save submissive and dominant players whole lot of time, worry, and even pain during their activities.

What is a BDSM Contract?

Like any agreement, a BDSM contract is a written agreement between a dominant (sometimes called ?Top? ?Master? or ?Mistress?) and a submissive (sometimes referred to as ?Bottom? ?Sub? or ?Slave?). It serves as a strong tool to establish guidelines and an attitude of respect.

The written BDSM lifestyle contract can go into the details of a kink relationship. It can also list rules of conduct and sexual desires, as well as what are considered acceptable activities. Or it can act as a mere sex guide to control power imbalances.

BDSM Contract: Defining Roles and Activities

Though Fifty Shades of Grey seems to have made power exchange dynamics popular, not all people find it easy to articulate what they want in the bedroom. It can be difficult to establish a mutual understanding regarding sexual power and kinky desires. Especially if what they desire is dominance and submission. An agreement in power exchange relationship defines and sets the parameters for the kinks we enjoy but find difficult to express out loud.

As much as BDSM practitioners need communication throughout their play, a BDSM contract should contain the limits of what a sub will tolerate and what a dom will and will not engage in. These ?hard limits? should be well considered and never challenged. That's why verbal agreements are not suitable for slave contracts or rape role play even though both parts show their complete understanding.

Important Topics to Include

The bottom line of a BDSM lifestyle contract is to determine the limits and safety procedures for the physical and emotional well-being of the players. From the actual bodily danger someone could be in during a kink scene, to the playful humiliations and 'hard limits' of power imbalances. Here are the subsections the role contract should cover.

• Physical Safety Concerns

The actual physical acts that might occur during kinky sex scenes. The toys that people could come to use. The allocations of power and how doms restrain subs. All of this and more can cause physical stress and pain. For those who enjoy dominance and submission but have medical conditions and disabilities, their needs need to be addressed within the parameters of a BDSM contract.

• Emotional Safety Concerns

Past trauma and negative feelings can be triggered from physical action during roleplay. Though it's impossible to fully comprehend the full depth and breadth of our subconscious, doms and subs need to anticipate and protect their emotions within the limits set in a sexual power contract. Thus, the contract templates can be shifted, added to, or amended even at that contract creators? discretion.

• Term Limits

In a BDSM relationship, the actual parameters are as important as the contract duration the parties wish that contract to be enforced. While the participants sign and agree to the BDSM contract for their safety and further enjoyment, it must also be true that either party has the right to terminate or make amendments to the agreement at any time.

• Safe Words and Privacy

One of the most important aspects to parties agreeing on the parameters of their kink play is the setting of a safe word. When uttered by either party, a safe word causes all play to stop immediately. These safe words should be established, clearly considered, agreed upon, and certainly written in any contract as their purpose is to protect the players from power imbalances.

• Terms of Address and Aftercare

A particular consideration for people into 24/7 total power exchange is how they address one another. These terms, be they ?Daddy,? ?Sir,? ?Madame,? ?Goddess,? should be specified in the contract. The ?aftercare? rituals of a scene - a dom applying soothing balm to the body of their sub, cuddling, hugging, soothing - are also very important. They should be worked into the contract as much as any other aspect.

Crafting and Signing Your BDSM Contract

For many, the signing ceremony of their contract is as fun as the power exchange they enjoy. Surely, many places presently exist online for kinky community members to download a BDSM contract template. But many people might obtain a high level of intimate fun in developing their own language and rules for said contract.

BDSM Contract Templates: The Three Main Types

Advanced Contract -Some people involved in dominance and submission take their kink encounters beyond a play space and into a total power exchange (TPE) of everyday life. Other BDSM enthusiasts get involved in more intense and what might be considered ?taboo? activities of power exchange. These are the individuals who should consider an advanced contract.

Intermediate Contract -Doms and subs at an intermediate stage might be inclined to BDSM but will just as readily return to non-kink roles in their real lives. For these people, an intermediate role BDSM contract template can help bridge the gap between what is permissible in a dungeon or play-space and how they conduct themselves everywhere else.

Training Activities - Beginner BDSM contracts - also known as training activities or light BDSM contract - can help to define submissive roles and expectations of novice power play. While many beginners might balk at a contract, feeling it limits their fun and excitement, others feel safe defining what they want and do not want with BDSM contract.

Romantix and Kink: Behavior Training, Power Exchange?Fun

For those interested in or continuing down the byways of power exchange play and kinky sex, there is an arsenal of tools to consider besides a BDSM contract. The BDSM sex toys, props, clothing, and kink gear that could come into play when you are playing is quite varied.

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