Whether you're flying solo or bringing a partner along for the ride, figuring out where to start can feel a little overwhelming. The shelves (and websites) are packed with Dildos, Vibrators, Cock Rings, Butt Plugs, Pumps, and things that don't even look like they have a name yet.
The good news? You don't need to buy everything at once. You just need to buy the right things first.
This guide is designed to take the guesswork out of your first purchase, help you understand what's out there, and set you up for a genuinely great experience — not a drawer full of regret.
Start With What You Actually Want to Feel
Before you throw anything in a cart, ask yourself one simple question: what kind of sensation am I looking for?
- Vibration? You want a vibrator — clitoral, internal, or both.
- Fullness or pressure? A dildo or butt plug is your starting point.
- Longer-lasting performance? A cock ring might be your new best friend.
- Enhanced stimulation for a partner? A penis sleeve changes the game entirely.
Narrowing it down to a sensation first makes everything else much easier. Don't buy a toy because it looks impressive — buy one because it solves something you've been curious about.
The Beginner's Shopping List (Start Here)
1. A Vibrator — The Classic Entry Point
If you're new to toys entirely, a Vibrator is almost always the best first buy. They're versatile, widely loved, and available at every price point.
For beginners, a bullet vibrator or a clitoral stimulator is ideal — small, discreet, and surprisingly powerful. If you want something more versatile that can work externally and internally, look for a compact wand or a small rabbit-style toy.
Speaking of which — if you're curious about rabbit vibrators specifically, our blog Rabbits for Beginners walks you through everything you need to know before buying your first one.
What to look for:
- At least 3–5 vibration settings
- Body-safe silicone
- Waterproof (makes cleaning so much easier)
- USB rechargeable (ditch the batteries)
2. A Quality Lubricant — Non-Negotiable
No beginner's kit is complete without lube. Seriously — lube isn't just for people who "need" it. It enhances sensation, protects tissue, and makes every toy feel better.
For most beginners, a water-based lubricant is the safest and most versatile choice. It's compatible with all toy materials and all body parts. If you want something that lasts a bit longer, a hybrid lube is worth exploring — we break down exactly what that means in our blog What's Hybrid Lube and Why Do You Need It?
One thing to always remember: silicone-based lube is not compatible with silicone toys. It can degrade the material over time. When in doubt, go water-based.
And for anyone curious about anal play (more on that below), make sure you check out our guide on How to Choose the Right Anal Lube for Your Needs — the requirements there are a little different.
3. A Dildo — If You Want That Feeling of Fullness
Dildos are one of the most straightforward toys out there: no motors, no buttons, no settings to figure out. Just sensation.
For beginners, the golden rule is: start smaller than you think you need to. A lot of first-time buyers go too big and end up uncomfortable. You can always size up — but starting smaller means a much better first experience.
If you're not sure how to select a size or style, our blog How to Choose the Perfect Dong is a great resource.
Material tip: Always go for body-safe materials — silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Avoid anything that smells strongly of chemicals or is described only as "PVC" without further safety information.
4. A Cock Ring — For People with Penises (and Their Partners)
If you or your partner has a penis, a cock ring is one of the most underrated beginner toys out there. It works by gently restricting blood flow, helping maintain a firmer erection and often making orgasms feel more intense.
Vibrating cock rings add clitoral stimulation for a partner during penetration, making them genuinely a toy for two.
For beginners, a soft, stretchy silicone ring is the way to go — never start with a rigid metal ring until you're comfortable with sizing. We've written a full breakdown on how to use one safely in our guide How to Wear a Cockring: Positioning, Comfort and Tips.
5. A Butt Plug — For the Curious (and There Are a Lot of You)
Butt plugs are consistently one of the most searched and purchased beginner toys, yet a lot of people still feel awkward asking about them. So let's just say it: anal play feels amazing for many people — regardless of gender or orientation — because of the sheer density of nerve endings in that area.
A beginner plug should be small, have a flared base (this is not optional — it's a safety feature), and be made from smooth silicone or glass.
If you're new to anal play entirely, start with our blog What Is a Butt Plug and Why Is It So Enjoyable — it's friendly, informative, and answers basically every question you're too shy to Google.
Things to Keep in Mind Before You Buy
Material Safety Matters More Than Price
The sex toy industry is not regulated the same way cosmetics or food products are. That means it's on you as a buyer to choose wisely. Always look for:
- Body-safe silicone — non-porous, easy to clean, hypoallergenic
- Borosilicate glass — smooth, temperature-play-friendly, non-porous
- Stainless steel — durable, cleanable, ideal for anal toys
Avoid porous materials like jelly rubber or TPE/TPR if you can — they're harder to fully sanitize.
Don't Skip the Cleaning Step
Clean your toys before and after use. For non-motorized silicone, glass, or steel toys, you can boil them or run them through the dishwasher (top rack, no soap). For anything with a motor, use a toy cleaner or mild antibacterial soap with warm water — never submerge unless it's rated waterproof.
Start Solo, Then Add a Partner
There's absolutely no rule that says you need to introduce a new toy with a partner right away. In fact, getting comfortable with a toy on your own first makes partnered use much more fun — you already know what works. Once you're ready to explore together, check out our blog on Communicating Sexual Fantasies for tips on bringing it up without the awkwardness.
Featured Products
What NOT to Buy First
A few things that well-meaning beginners often over-invest in early on:
- Huge dildos — save these for when you know your body better
- Full BDSM kits — if you're new to kink, start with a single piece of restraint or sensation play gear. Our BDSM Sets Guide: Everything You Need to Know will help you understand what's actually in those kits before committing
- Cheap "novelty" toys — if the price seems too good to be true and the material is unlisted, walk away
- Too many toys at once — pick one or two, learn them well, then expand
Final Thoughts
The best sex toy for a beginner is the one that meets you where you are. You don't need to buy everything in one go — start with one toy that speaks to what you're curious about, invest in good lube, and learn what your body responds to.
The rest? It'll come naturally.
Browse our full collection and use this guide as your roadmap. And if you ever have questions about a specific product or aren't sure what's right for you, don't hesitate to reach out — we're here to help, judgment-free.
